JPL - yet another premier league

If you have been following world news of late, apart from Donald Trump taking over the US Presidency, you would not have missed an equally important event that attracted world-wide attention. You might have guessed what it is now: It is the JalliKattu protest that was held in Chennai and parts of TN. 

It was so important for Don Trump that he called PM Modi after seeing the television reports of the protests expressing his displeasure at the protests and that he could topple the Indian Govt if the protests are not brought within control sending chills through the spine of Indian PM, at least according to WhatsApp, which is one of the sources of most authentic information that one could rely upon, next only to facebook. 

Now that you know the importance and the role that the protests are playing in international politics and policy making, you may want to check Wikipedia or your WhatsApp archives to understand what JalliKattu is. To put it in simple words, it is nothing but a bunch of men running behind a bull trying to control it, especially when it is already in a submissive state. To make it attractive, 10 to 15 brave men run behind the bull, and on occasions behind the cows in case the organizers run out of Bulls, and pull the animal in all sorts of directions, kind of like a tug-of-war, except that the bull or its tail is the rope here, prompting the Bulls Association had to make a representation to the highest court of India. Does the game remind you of American football? The only difference is that all the players are now ganging up on the quarter back irrespective of the team that they play for. 

Why would this sport attract attention in the state of Tamil Nadu all of a sudden, leave alone the international fame? It is because of a law enacted by the government at the instance of PETA. PETA's claim is that the bulls are treated inhumanely (well, last time I checked, they were still categorized as animals) and that the sport should be banned. So, the Bull, which is yet to be claimed by any national party in India as their party symbol, shot up to fame in less than 2 days and the symbol is still up for grabs. 

Protests were held in Chennai, that attracted lot of people, several times more than what you would normally see in any Jallikattu event anywhere in TN. This was mostly attended by people some of whom have no idea what it is, others have not seen the sport in their life, some others never seen a Bull and some more who could not differentiate between a Bull and a Cow. Why were the protests called? This is to exhibit the right of man over animal kingdom, the right of a bunch of people to control an animal and the right to freedom of speech, which the bulls were denied in any case. No one heard the Bull side of the story. 

The protests had gained such a momentum that it got support from the rest of India, SriLanka, Malaysia, Singapore and parts of USA. 

Let us come to more serious matter, the JPL. While the event was attracting lot of attention, SRK, Saurav Ganguly, Virat Kohli, MS Dhoni, Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan, Abhishek Bachchan,  Mallika Sarawat, Shilpa Shetty, Kajol were all huddled in an undisclosed location for a secret meeting at a hotel in Mumbai about a potential business venture - the JPL , JalliKattu Premier League. They all decided to include Vijay Mallya, without whom, the premier league will lack the color that it needs. We have a premier league for every sport in India and why not JalliKattu, asked MSD and all the others agreed. Since MSD played for CSK, he was the most knowledgeable person on the sport and all the others were in violent agreement. 

So much work to do. Rules have to be framed, number of foreign participants including the weight, height of the bull and the bullfighters have to be finalized, the cities that would get the franchise, auctioning process... so much to do. But, they all decided that there would be 8 teams, none of which would be in the state of TN since they expect Gurunath Meyyappan to start waging bets in any case and the franchise would get cancelled, each team would need an investment of 100 Crores, and there would be a maximum of 14 bullfighters in a team, each person would be guaranteed a minimum pay of 10 Lakhs. And at the end of each game, JPL will donate money to an organization that takes care of cows and bulls, just to show how animane they are!!

Jumped up, Shilpa the animal rights activist in the team, what do the bulls get. MSD smiled and said, 'what is the grass in the field for?'. Everyone was impressed with MSD's knowledge on Bull anatomy. 

Then the next item on the agenda was taken up for discussion. It is the use of imported cows from South Africa, Australia, New Zealand and England as the "Cheer cows" for the competition. They could not conclude whether to use the cheer girls or cheer cows but, the import is planned in any case.

A soft knock on the door brought a chill in everyone's spine. Who could it be? Then a topiwala's face came in through the slightly opened door. And then, one hand appeared, with a Broom stick. 
"May I ask for participation in the JPL too? My party workers will be on the field at the end of every game, wave the brooms, and pretend to clean the ground. It is both Swachch Bharat and AAP in one go". 

Have not heard anymore on JPL after that. 

"Naan Tamilandaa"!!

PS: News of JPL spread quicker than forest fire and the likes of RajniKanth, Kamal Hasan, Radhika, Vijay, who have worked tirelessly for the welfare of the Bull community and the conduct of JalliKattu were all upset. Heard through the grape vine that they are starting a competing league named "Kalai Premier League"!!

PPS: South Korea, which has very close resemblance to Tamil culture was observing all the events very closely and are seriously discussing the formation of, you guessed it right, a "Roach Premier League".

The (Un) Familiar Broom Stick

By now most of India is familiar with the universal tool that is in great demand. You guessed it right, it is the Broom stick. Since we live in a world full of vacuum cleaners in different shapes and sizes, auto and manual, most of you may not even be aware of what a Broom stick is. 

The Broom, which has been in use, ever since man knew how to puke, has been handed over from generation to generation. The manufacturing of a broom stick is a lengthy process. It is made from a dried branch of a Coconut tree, which is very prevalent in the coastal districts of India, mostly the Southern part. As you know Coconut tree grow really really tall. How tall is really tall? As far as I see it, if you cannot lift your left hand and touch the branch, it should be considered as tall and most of American Basketball players fit this bill.

Leaving that aside, once you are able to identify a tree, the trick is to catch hold of someone who specializes in the art of climbing a tree. He would charge you X rupees for climbing up and coming down. Obviously, you cannot bargain with him about paying only half-of-it since your objective is for him to climb up and you are not really interested in having him come down. So once the price is negotiated, he has this 2-S shaped rope that is somehow joined together to make it look like an & (an ampersand). He will put each foot through both the loops (yeah, I saw it coming, the smartness in you. Yes, the person has to have two functionally working legs that are almost same in length for this to work) and places it firmly on the trunk. He also has a loop with a locking mechanism clasping him to the tree and voila, he starts climbing. So, he goes up, and cuts the branches. You sun it for a while and then, peel apart each leaf and skin them, leaving a long thin stick. You combine a bunch of them and tie it with a rope and there you are. You get a broom that is easy to use and which can clean, all things in all colors.

So, why is the sudden importance for the broom? Well, if you observe the political situation in India, you would realize that at the capital New Delhi, a new party Aam Admi Party (AAP) is running the Government. And, what is so unique about this party? It is their symbol which is the infamous BROOM. 

Ever since the party got launched formally, there has been a spurt in inflation numbers in India.The Govt of India's supercomputers, working in tandem with the Reserve bank of India could not determine why the spike was.

On a closer analysis, you can easily attribute this to the rise of AAP. Why? It is because of their symbol, the Broom. The party got launched and there were so many volunteers from so many walks of life, lawyers, Chief executives, business heads... all hunting for a broom that they could carry with them while going on a door-to-door campaign. This sudden spurt in demand for broom opened up a great business opportunity for people who trade in brooms. These are specialized brooms remember? Not made of plastic but should be made from coconut tree branches. These are available mostly in the Southern part of India, there was a sudden flurry of economic activity in the South. The tree climbers were in demand, along with the trees themselves, not necessarily in that order and the blacksmiths, the knife sharpeners, laborers, rope manufacturers.... You see the scale of this now, don't you.

The brooms were made and they had to be shipped to North India and for most people in South India, North India is somewhere out there, North of where North is. So, it is really really far away which means transportation is involved. More economic activity. By now, the Economist brain in you must have ignited and you must have realized that the Broom starts getting a royal treatment. It is no longer used for cleaning but as an attire. Like the Police and military men carrying artillery,  you have the AAP volunteers carrying lot of broom sticks with them going on a campaign. This naturally increased the prices of broom sticks in North and South. Servant maids working in household were stuck with older Brooms because the newer ones were unavailable or extremely expensive. If they use the older brooms, they take 3 times more time than what they normally take to clean a home free of dirt. So they were demanding more wages because they were stuck with older brooms. Rather than doing household work, they are now thinking of alternate opportunities, yes, with the BMI (Broom manufacturing industry). So their extra pay demands were met with, translating into more cash in hand, which they used to buy essential things like talcum powder, lip stick and nail polish creating a spiralling demand for those products. Voila.. you have inflation now, galloping at a pace that neither the Govt nor the Reserve bank could deal with!!

How to tackle it now? The only way to overcome this inflation is to import Broom sticks from outside of India from countries like China. China, has already sensed a great business opportunity to manufacture brooms and export it to India and Pakistan. Indian Govt is seriously considering levying a heavy duty on such imports, next only to Gold. Already talks are underway with the agriculturists in South India to stop growing Paddy and start growing Coconut trees as it gives them a great revenue opportunity. The central govt is also setting up a dedicated ministry for Coconut trees and a Welfare development board for both the trees and the growers. 

Last I heard, AAP is considering reducing the number of sticks that they use within a Broom to help overcome the current crisis but that remains to be seen.

PS: Heard on the news that AAP is going national in the next 2 days. The need for broom sticks is going to skyrocket. Both the logistics problem and the supply chain problem will have to be addressed with immediate effect. As regards inflation, it is another problem that can be dealt with at a later date.

Being A Customer In India

Is Customer Really the King?

Context for this blog centers around 'Customer relationship management' function in India and how it could be made better.

CRM - The buzz word. We have heard or read statements like :
'Make it easy for the customer to do business with you'
'Focus intensely on your customer'
'Deliver personalized service'
And some of the following which have been attributed to Gandhi (the original) but not validated:
'Customer is the most important visitor in on our premises'
'He is not dependent on us, We are dependent on him'
'He is not an interruption on our work, He is the purpose of it, He is a part of it'
'We are not doing him a favor by servicing him, He is doing us a favor by giving us an opportunity to do so'.

Good to hear and nice to read. Makes one to put forth the best step forward in making it happen. Does it really happen? Does any one really care about the customer in the Indian scenario?

How many of us in India go to a bank and wait in line to get serviced? How many of us have to wait in line to get an Aadhar card when the person accepting the application is supposedly "busy" attending an important call on his mobile, speaking with his neighbor about how tough his job is. Ask the pensioners, senior citizens having health issues, having difficulties travelling since no one is there to take care of them (their kin being abroad), and the torture they have to go through to complete a transaction at a Bank or at a Multi-format grocery store. Talk about courier companies who have to deliver some important document to you.

'Everything is in the internet sir, why are you visiting our branch' is the reply you get from the bank. How many are computer literates and how many have access to computers to complete a transaction? How many have computers and how many have internet connectivity? Even if you can afford both, how many can access a website and understand the computer lingo about 'Secure socket layer', 'Multi layer authentication' leave alone all the userids and passwords that they have to remember at their old age. Even Gen-Xers have difficulty managing the userids and multiple stipulations with regards to passwords, leave alone senior citizens. No one seems to understand the problem and provide a solution that is easy enough to assimilate and use.

This article is not about Senior citizens and CRM but CRM in general.

We have companies in India expanding wildly, take Tatas and Reliance for example. In case of Tatas, they have presence in multiple industries and segments. If you look at the consumer segment, Tatas are there in
- Telecommunication (Fixed and Mobile - Tata Docomo)
- Satellite Television (Tata sky)
- Internet (via VSNL acquisition, Tata Photon+)
- Tata Motors (cars et al)
- Fashion (Westside, Croma)
to  name a few.

Reliance is not far behind:
- Fashion
- Food (Grocery)
- Telecom (Mobile, Landline)
- Internet (Netconnect)
- Satellite Television
- Reliance time out
- Reliance Digital
and the list continues.........

Each of these companies operate as Independent companies (per company act of India) but do share the same brand name. Such is the brand value that there is a sense of reliability and trust that the customers have in them. Have the companies really used the same or are the customers still kings? If Customers were kings, how would they have been serviced?

Take for instance the case of an individual who has got multiple Tata products at his residence (and potentially at work or at is business too). Does a Tata or a Reliance know that the individual that they are dealing with has got other relationships going as well? I can say with 100% confidence that it is not the case.

Why?

The systems are created such that there is no incentive to reward a customer because the customer has got multiple relationships going? Why should he be rewarded? As long as I am able to get revenue from a customer, I am perfectly fine. What matters to me the most is the 'Top line' and the 'Bottom line'. The customer is incidental. If the customer walks away, it is his problem not the company's.

Why is it that such conglomerates do not have an integrated CRM that has a complete profile about the customer and the multiple relationships that they have? With an integrated CRM and knowing the customer intimately, it is quite possible to build the relationship to such an extent that it would become easier to
- Market new products and services
- Earn loyalty
- Increase retention
- Customers will become torch bearers for the new ventures
- They may be decision makers when it comes to a business they are associated with and hence would become the Advocates for the brand.

Is this possible? Will we able to able to generate a 360 degree view of the customer? Will we be able to capitalize the untapped potential that is out there? Will we be able to break the silo within which we operate today and go further beyond?

Flash flood in the Himalays.. A conversation with the Lord.

Bhagirath: God, why did you have this flash flood at Himalayas? So many people got killed and so much of devastation?

Lord Shiva:                                                                                                                                                                                     

B: Why did it have to happen? People who came to visit kedarnath are all pious and very devoted. Came long distances just to see you, touch you, pour holy water on you

LS: Please continue

B:”So many families are missing their near and dear ones. Identity of a lot of individuals who got killed remains unknown. People think that you have no power to stop such carnage. Some, who believed in you till that mishap, have lost faith in you. So why should they believe in you? Why did this have to happen?

LS:Do you remember the days when you did the penance to bring Ganga to earth?

B: Yes my lord. Initially Ma Ganga was coming with such a force that Earth was unable to bear the same. And she caused so much of damage. I remember that.

LS: Then what happened?

B: I prayed to thee to withstand the force of Ma Ganga. You did take it on your head first and split her into multiple rivers so that Mother Earth could withstand the force. And I was able to absolve my forefathers from their existing state to a higher state.

LS: How was Mt Himalayas then?

B: It was quiet and peaceful. Lot of greenery and Man had not blasted mountains to make roads; not many buildings; no dams were built; all rivers took to their nature course and flowed accordingly.

LS: Now?

B: Yes My Lord. Mountains have been blasted; new roads have been laid; new houses have come up. Man has started building houses, hotels, factories right on the river banks. Lot of sewage is let out into the rivers with utmost carelessness. Dams have been built curtailing the natural flow altering the eco-system. People flock to see you in numbers using helicopters, cars, buses, jeeps causing pollution. It took Pandavas months to visit you but people can do it in days. Such is the progress of man that he is able to do it very quickly.

LS: When people did visit me during those early days, they did their daily duties properly. Cleansed themselves, performed required rituals to seek help from the five major elements, made it a pilgrimage. They are allowed to touch me, perform abhisheka and pooja. Does it happen in the same way today?

B: I do not think so My Lord.

LS: Today, it is a picnic. People are unclean, most of them do not follow the basics,  sanctity is lost. Still they touch me. Over the years, the uncleanliness kept accumulating. One way of cleansing me is by using Holy water. Ganga was more than willing to cleanse the unhygienic environment, my abode and its surroundings. She came with only that much force that is needed, only part of what you had experienced earlier. Don’t you think that is the appropriate way to do? What do you do when you have mud all over your body?

B: Yes, My Lord, I use lot of water to get rid of the mud. I use a clean cloth to wipe myself dry.

LS: Don’t you think I am allowed the same liberties then?

B: Why the destruction?

LS: What do you mean by destruction?

B: Lives were lost, buildings were destroyed.

LS: When you cleaned yourself of the mud Bhagirath, are you saying that you destroyed the mud that was on your body? Let me answer your question differently. What is it that you are wearing?

B: Why My Lord, a dhoti.

LS: What was it before it was a dhoti?

B: May be a piece of long cloth that got cut into something that I could wear.

LS: Before that?

B: It was probably in the form of cotton threads on a spindle.

LS: Before that?

B: It was cotton.

LS: So, why did you destroy the cotton?

B: No my Lord, the cotton was not destroyed but it got transformed into a long thread and then woven into a Dhoti.

LS: So, the Cotton got transformed then?

B: Yes My Lord.

LS: Are you sure?

B: Certainly my lord.

LS: Why do you say that people are killed or destroyed? It was only transformed. The soul that was all trapped in the body got released and moved into a different plane.

B: But, my lord, it was crude.

LS: What was crude?

B: The way in which the soul left the body.

LS: Then, can you tell me the right way for a person to die?

B: Do not know my lord. People die by different means based on what they did in their life.

LS: Let us take another example. What do you see to your right?

B: I see a beautiful oak tree my Lord.

LS: What do you see in front of you?

B: A table, my lord, a table made of wood.

LS: Where did the table come from?

B: It came from a tree.

LS: So, why did the person who made the table, kill the tree?

B: The tree is just transformed my Lord into a table.

LS: So, the same logic applies here too. The soul got transformed into something different. In case of table and the Dhoti, it is visible to a naked human eye whereas, in the case of a soul going to a different plane, it is not that apparent.

B: I get your point my Lord.

LS: So, this cleansing is needed, to rebalance the eco-system. You can say that nature has a way to rebalance itself or you can say that Lord Shiva initiated the same. In any case, this rebalancing was long due and it has happened now. Are you at peace now?

B: Yes my lord.