If you have been following world news of late, apart from Donald Trump taking over the US Presidency, you would not have missed an equally important event that attracted world-wide attention. You might have guessed what it is now: It is the JalliKattu protest that was held in Chennai and parts of TN.
It was so important for Don Trump that he called PM Modi after seeing the television reports of the protests expressing his displeasure at the protests and that he could topple the Indian Govt if the protests are not brought within control sending chills through the spine of Indian PM, at least according to WhatsApp, which is one of the sources of most authentic information that one could rely upon, next only to facebook.
Now that you know the importance and the role that the protests are playing in international politics and policy making, you may want to check Wikipedia or your WhatsApp archives to understand what JalliKattu is. To put it in simple words, it is nothing but a bunch of men running behind a bull trying to control it, especially when it is already in a submissive state. To make it attractive, 10 to 15 brave men run behind the bull, and on occasions behind the cows in case the organizers run out of Bulls, and pull the animal in all sorts of directions, kind of like a tug-of-war, except that the bull or its tail is the rope here, prompting the Bulls Association had to make a representation to the highest court of India. Does the game remind you of American football? The only difference is that all the players are now ganging up on the quarter back irrespective of the team that they play for.
Why would this sport attract attention in the state of Tamil Nadu all of a sudden, leave alone the international fame? It is because of a law enacted by the government at the instance of PETA. PETA's claim is that the bulls are treated inhumanely (well, last time I checked, they were still categorized as animals) and that the sport should be banned. So, the Bull, which is yet to be claimed by any national party in India as their party symbol, shot up to fame in less than 2 days and the symbol is still up for grabs.
Protests were held in Chennai, that attracted lot of people, several times more than what you would normally see in any Jallikattu event anywhere in TN. This was mostly attended by people some of whom have no idea what it is, others have not seen the sport in their life, some others never seen a Bull and some more who could not differentiate between a Bull and a Cow. Why were the protests called? This is to exhibit the right of man over animal kingdom, the right of a bunch of people to control an animal and the right to freedom of speech, which the bulls were denied in any case. No one heard the Bull side of the story.
The protests had gained such a momentum that it got support from the rest of India, SriLanka, Malaysia, Singapore and parts of USA.
Let us come to more serious matter, the JPL. While the event was attracting lot of attention, SRK, Saurav Ganguly, Virat Kohli, MS Dhoni, Sachin Tendulkar, Amitabh Bachchan, Abhishek Bachchan, Mallika Sarawat, Shilpa Shetty, Kajol were all huddled in an undisclosed location for a secret meeting at a hotel in Mumbai about a potential business venture - the JPL , JalliKattu Premier League. They all decided to include Vijay Mallya, without whom, the premier league will lack the color that it needs. We have a premier league for every sport in India and why not JalliKattu, asked MSD and all the others agreed. Since MSD played for CSK, he was the most knowledgeable person on the sport and all the others were in violent agreement.
So much work to do. Rules have to be framed, number of foreign participants including the weight, height of the bull and the bullfighters have to be finalized, the cities that would get the franchise, auctioning process... so much to do. But, they all decided that there would be 8 teams, none of which would be in the state of TN since they expect Gurunath Meyyappan to start waging bets in any case and the franchise would get cancelled, each team would need an investment of 100 Crores, and there would be a maximum of 14 bullfighters in a team, each person would be guaranteed a minimum pay of 10 Lakhs. And at the end of each game, JPL will donate money to an organization that takes care of cows and bulls, just to show how animane they are!!
Jumped up, Shilpa the animal rights activist in the team, what do the bulls get. MSD smiled and said, 'what is the grass in the field for?'. Everyone was impressed with MSD's knowledge on Bull anatomy.
Then the next item on the agenda was taken up for discussion. It is the use of imported cows from South Africa, Australia, New Zealand and England as the "Cheer cows" for the competition. They could not conclude whether to use the cheer girls or cheer cows but, the import is planned in any case.
A soft knock on the door brought a chill in everyone's spine. Who could it be? Then a topiwala's face came in through the slightly opened door. And then, one hand appeared, with a Broom stick.
"May I ask for participation in the JPL too? My party workers will be on the field at the end of every game, wave the brooms, and pretend to clean the ground. It is both Swachch Bharat and AAP in one go".
Have not heard anymore on JPL after that.
"Naan Tamilandaa"!!
PS: News of JPL spread quicker than forest fire and the likes of RajniKanth, Kamal Hasan, Radhika, Vijay, who have worked tirelessly for the welfare of the Bull community and the conduct of JalliKattu were all upset. Heard through the grape vine that they are starting a competing league named "Kalai Premier League"!!
PPS: South Korea, which has very close resemblance to Tamil culture was observing all the events very closely and are seriously discussing the formation of, you guessed it right, a "Roach Premier League".
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